Great Scott!

I think I may have found someone who follows my blog (other than the 2 people who I force to read it). It just so happened that I was enjoying my daily dose of Scott Adams' "The Dilbert Blog", that I found the underlying principle behind this particular post very familiar.

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2008/03/vacation-ratio.html

My regular readers would note that only recently did I mention the discriminating nature of how memories are created. What are the chances that Scott would mention the "selective memory phenomenon" only 2 days after my post? If there's anything I've learnt after watching countless hours of "Lost", its that most coincidences have greater logical explanations behind them. A few things come to mind.

1. Scott is feeding off from material on the net. The least exciting of my interpretations, since Scott actually does comment on material from elsewhere.

2. Scott and I think alike. I would like to think so, since we both have a great sense of humor.

3. I took the material off some earlier post of "The Dilbert Blog". Quite possible but highly unlikely, since I take great pride in my creativity and would only do so as a result of some subliminal impression that was made whilst reading the blog.

4. Scott is a big fan of my writing and more specifically my blog. This appears to be the most believable explanation. It would only add to the list of my ever growing fan base that already includes Stephen King and J.K. Rowling.

So Scott, whatever the reasons are behind the timing and similarity of the concept behind our posts, what I can say for sure is that great minds do think alike... (I'm not sure if this increases my credentials or decreases yours!)

Why did Superman Return?

Caveat to the reader: If you haven't seen "Superman Returns" you may want to avoid reading any further as this post contains content that may "spoil" your movie, in the event that you choose to see it in the future.

I have always loved Superman. As a superhero fan, I've found his character very interesting. Unlike most superheroes, Superman's alter ego is an ordinary, hard working citizen, Clark Kent, who's trying his best to make a living. In most cases the situation is the other way round, with the alter ego usually being the superhero. Also, Superman has an amazing variety of superpowers at his disposal, and more importantly, has a potentially deadly weakness that creates a fine balance.

But most significantly, Superman is considered to be a leader, someone who takes control of things and is unfazed by difficult and seemingly disastrous situations. His moral uprightness and ability to sustain himself beyond human levels of emotion makes him even more special.

So you can understand why I'm disappointed with "Superman Returns". Superman does not only appear to be emotionally weak in this movie, he is shown to have made moral misjudgments and some unwise decisions over time. To be more specific, he tries to wreck a perfectly happy family and is shown to have an illegitimate child. Also, between Louis Lane and him, Louis is the one that has the moral uprightness to say "no" to Superman's rather open advancements. Followers of Superman comics and cartoons would note that it was rather Louis Lane who used to openly pursue Superman, with Superman being the one who used to play it cool.

Also, Louis Lane's personality in the movie does not match the character itself. Louis Lane is supposed to be annoying, stubborn, confident, big mouthed and usually gets her own way, whereas in the movie she's quiet, dreamy, very emotional and really not that irritating. I think making her a mom has changed most of her personality.

But, overall, the movie itself wasn't terrible. However, I expected more coming from the Superman franchise.

Wishlist

Searching for a gift can be an interesting exercise at times, even though on most occasions you may end up with the same old boring thing that you usually get when you run out of ideas. On the other hand, the whole process can provide you with a list of things that you'd want for yourself.

Only a few days back, I went on a gift hunt for my dad. From past experience, I knew perfumes and aftershaves wouldn't really excite him. My previous gift, an Ipod, was a great success and from that I took the lead on getting some electronic gizmo. I started searching the internet and came up with some great things... things that I plan on getting for myself someday!

1. Radio Controlled Airwolf
Ok, to be honest I've had this idea for quite a while now. However, I did try to look for a smaller and less expensive substitute that I thought my dad could enjoy indoors.

Well this thing has everything you can think of. From retractable wheels to a wireless color camera... all you need is the Airwolf theme song playing in the background (which you can also take care of by using the mp3 player that is built in the wireless camera monitor).

http://www.rc-expert.com/product-package.php?pid=633

Damn... now that I've checked my saved link, they've scrapped the wireless camera from the package. However, its still mega cool.

2. Air guitar
I've been trying to learn the real thing for such a long time that now I think this baby could be used as a nifty alternative without causing much sweat. Pretty cool idea, especially if you frequently air guitar yourself.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/993b/

3. The Office Memorabilia
I love the series and absolutely adore the memorabilia available on the NBC website. The bobbleheads and a crazy award would be a good addition to my rather dull workspace.

http://www.nbcuniversalstore.com/index.php?v=nbunbcnowoff

4. Sky car
Ok, I may be getting a bit carried away here, but who wouldn't want to own this fine flying car, that can seat 4 people and can make you look like one of those eccentric billionaires.

http://www.firebox.com/?dir=firebox&action=product&pid=415

5. Lego city
No, lego is not for kids. It says "Ages 6+" on most of its products, which means I can play with 'em too. And not only will I play with them, I'll build myself a city one day that will include a lego airport, a police station, an Eiffel Tower, a hospital and many, many other cool things.

http://www.amazon.com/b/ref=amb_link_3837802_13?ie=UTF8&node=291251011&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-4&pf_rd_r=0GN7AHQRQBDWKN6TQEVQ&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=293202901&pf_rd_i=236510011

Of course, this isn't an exhausted list. But I thought if anybody out there is looking to get me a 'thoughtful' present, you should now have a fair idea on what to get. (BTW, my birthday's on the 22nd of November, but gifts are welcome throughout the year!)

P.S. I thought I'd add this one last thing before I go... just discovered it while browsing online

http://disneyshopping.go.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/DSIProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10601&catalogId=10007&productId=1211900&categoryId=21044

Its time to go "Back To The Present"!

Memories can be deceiving. What can provide more evidence of this than my very own blog. Some of my frequent readers (I'm counting one) may recall two of my earlier posts, "Let there not be light!" and "My Time Machine". One of the posts was about how I used to enjoy solitude during the 1 hour loadsheddings of yesteryear. Well, loadsheddings have increased to 4 times a day now and I don't seem to enjoy it one bit.

Similarly, the other post was about an enjoyable one-off family picnic we had a few years back. Well, I tried to recreate the same picnic this December by attempting to find the same picnic spot. I even played the same song (Telegraph Road) on our way back. However, nothing magical happened. Not that I'm saying I didn't have fun, but it wasn't exactly how I imagined it would be.

Maybe its because things have changed since these events actually happened. Or, maybe, its because I have changed as time has gone by. I would think that its a combination of the two. Plus, I think, our memories sometimes magnify one pole of the emotions that we go through. Like for instance, if you fancied some person at some point in time, your memories of the things that you were fond of would supersede the little things that bothered you about the person.

Also, I think I was too busy trying to relive my old memories instead of maybe focusing on making new ones. It just goes to show that I've either been living in the past, or worrying too much about the future. Maybe I should just concentrate on the 'now' instead of the 'befores' and 'afters'.

I guess that means my soundtrack of happiness is on shuffle from now on.

It was nice talking to me

There are times when you have little to do and there's no one on your messenger list. Lucky for me, there's always someone on my list, mainly because I've added myself on Yahoo. Here's a snapshot of what my Yahoo Messenger usually looks like.


This only makes for interesting conversation, since we have so much in common. This is how our conversations usually go about.



This, though, can get a bit boring and at times somewhat heated, since we have the same likes and dislikes which can therefore cause a conflict of interest when it comes to women. But since both of us have a great sense of humor, it usually is great fun and things generally seem to work out.

Any questions?

I've always had sympathy for people who have something uncommon or prominent about them, which only allows other people to bug them with the same thoughtless questions or comments over and over again. Like, I'm sure Ryan Stiles is sick of people telling him how big his feet are or how Pope Benedict must be fed up of being told over and over again that he looks exactly like Senator Palpatine aka Darth Sidious (or the evil Emperor from Star Wars for all you non-scifi people). I guess everybody has a few questions that they're tired of answering. And like everyone, I also have a list of the ones that I hate the most, which I have taken the liberty to mention in order of most hated to the least.

1. Why are you so thin?
People never get tired of asking me this. I could give them a hundred different reasons but they already have a perfect explanation fixed in their heads. Which beckons the question: why bother asking me something that they already know the answer of (i.e. according to them)?

2. What do you want to do in life?
Another one of my least favorites, probably because I admittedly don't have a clue on what I would want to do in the next year or so, let alone have a game plan for life in general. So whenever I'm put forth this question I respond with a very precise picture of my plans in the most succinct narrative possible. To be more exact, I answer by saying "I don't know".

3. What are you good at?
This question has many forms, including "What are your strengths?", "Do you have any special skills?" and "Is there anything at all that you can do right?". Typical answers include "Is using hair gel in 5 different ways a skill?", "I know the value of PI up to 31 decimal places (which I seriously do)" and "I can scan all 50 channels of cable in less than 10 seconds".

4. What have been your achievements so far?
This can be a tricky question as it could either be intended for academic, extracurricular or professional achievements. Lucky for me I have none in either category which allows me to use the same answer in all situations.

Writing these down makes me feel that I'm better off than the Pope. At least I don't get asked if I can discharge electricity from my arse or if I have a light saber hidden underneath my robe or if I'm the most evil being present in the universe... Now I can go back to memorizing the value of PI to the next 20 decimal places in peace. May the force be with you!

First days at work

Not only are they boring, but they’re damn tiring as well. Especially when you start work after a good period of doing nothing, it’s even more difficult. I think the main reason for this is that you’re not used to sitting in a single position for long, or for that matter, even short periods of time. At home, you’re more accustomed to the comfortable position of lying down horizontally after every 15 minutes of sitting, standing or walking (I won’t even mention running).

Few exciting things happen on first days. Firstly, your boss doesn’t want to dump work on you all at once, and then you also don’t know your co-workers well enough to be too friendly. And going through company manuals or orientation material isn’t my first choice for literature. Probably the most difficult thing is in trying to stay awake. You don’t want to show that you’re lazy, well not on the first day at least, so you battle hard to find something interesting to keep the subduing powers of sleep at bay.

One thing I sometimes do to fight boredom is to try and make different words on a calculator. For some reason I always end up with the same words and I don’t even see the point of trying, but somehow the whole thing gives me a kick every time.

Another thing I like to do on a calculator is to enter the value of pie to the 11th decimal place and then perform weird arithmetic functions on it. Again, it doesn’t really make sense, but I can spend a good 7-10 minutes doing that. Sometimes I also like to see how many calculations the calculator can take before giving an error message. Like for example, I will fill the screen with 9s and then add a 1 to see if the calculator will give an error and if it doesn’t I’ll keep on adding 1 or some other number until it finally succumbs.

If you have a computer without any internet, there’s little that you can do to keep yourself interested for long. But for some of us it can be a good tool for appearing to be busy. MS Excel is probably the most useful amongst the very basic software available to the everyday office worker. Just type in some random words, accompanied with some random numbers in a few columns and you’ve got something going. Writing something in MS Word may arouse the suspicion of your colleagues or your boss as people tend to look at what you’re typing. But no such thing ever happens when working on Excel. The thing is so damn boring that people try to keep themselves away from looking at the screen whenever an Excel spreadsheet is on.

The thing about the office is that when you don’t have any work, you wish you did to make time move faster, but when you do have some work, you wish that you didn’t so that you could just laze around and enjoy the scenery from your window (yes, I have a window). I guess it’s just another one of those things when you just can’t win.

Comfortably dumb

I used to think John Locke (the character from Lost) was crazy when he thought the Island was trying to communicate with him. So by considering the possibility that the F-9 Park has established some form of communication with me, I can admit being a bit crazy myself.

Well it all began when I started taking these walks at the park. Nothing suspicious really happened until very recently I noticed a certain trend that had developed. Whenever I was in the car ready to leave, the mp3 player would play "Don't go away" by Oasis. Now that may appear to be a trivial occurrence for the casual observer, but considering it had happened several times at the same time of the day made it a bit obvious; the park didn't want me to leave and it was communicating that to me by sending out magnetic waves to my mp3 player causing an interference with the algorithm for shuffle play and thus ensuring that the particular song was played at that specific time. It couldn't have been any simpler.

Then I started to think of any other unusual incidents that may have slipped under the radar while I was busy walking. It is then that it occurred to me. I noticed that the song "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd had been played suspiciously excessively. In fact, I remember once it even played twice in a row, which is very odd as the probability for that happening is extremely low (it's actually 0.00021). That is when I started connecting the dots. The half hour that I am at the park actually has a numbing effect in the sense that I'm more or less unaware of the people around me and am in a dreamy state while completely engaged in my thoughts. I think the park has a lot to do with it, and it's made sure that I found out who's responsible.

I really don't know what to expect next from the park. So far it has used subtle signs to let me know of what's going on. I'm half expecting the modus operandi to change from subtle to downright in your face. But for now, I'm enjoying the music.

Worth a lot more than a thousand words

Before the mapping of the human genome, people used to blame everything on the genetic makeup of individuals. I remember watching a documentary on BBC that tried to establish a link between criminals and a possible gene associated with their activities. It was almost an attempt to blame everything on fate.

Genes or no genes, there’s no denying every person is different. For instance, everybody has a different thing that they notice when they first look at a girl. A friend of mine used to pay close attention to the nose; other friends were more concerned with other parts of the human anatomy. I personally notice the hair at first glance.

A friend of mine uses the analogy of a picture to describe a lot of situations. According to him, a picture can be interpreted in many ways and can be liked and disliked depending on the person and his or her tastes. So a book could be a bestseller and at the same time be not liked by a number of people. The same goes with music (in fact all kinds of art), food, sports… in effect every possible thing can be liked and disliked by a number of people at the same time. This just goes to show the uniqueness of the human individual.

But this applies more to art, since art is always open to interpretation. So I don’t really understand how people give a damn about music reviews. For someone who listens to pop, it’s possible for that person to find jazz not too appealing. So a person to review all types of music is really not doing justice to it anyway. To take it further, the review wouldn’t mean much even if the person has no bias at all.

If you think about it the more you’d realize that this is a clever mechanism designed by God to allow the smooth functioning of the universe. Imagine if everybody had the same likes and dislikes. I’d like to think that everyone would be looking for the exact same thing causing a major anomaly in the supply-demand equation. Try equating that with relationships and you’d think that the human race would have very little chance of survival. So maybe I’m ensuring our existence when I consider the Mona Lisa nothing more than a painting of an old hag who probably used the picture in the matrimonial section of the classifieds.

(The point of my argument also supports one of my previous posts concerning beauty pageants, proving further that the concept is absurd)

Cracked rearview mirror

The human race is very selfish. I’ve hardly seen a person do something generous unless he or she benefits in some way. Take charity for example. There are two reasons I could come up with which would explain why people give charity. Firstly, contributing to charity gives people satisfaction. It satisfies them that they’re doing something substantial to make the world a better place. The second reason would be fulfilling a religious obligation. People would be willing to spare some money in order to be able to enjoy the afterlife in heaven. In both cases they’re benefiting in some way. I’d like to see someone do something without getting anything in return, even if it’s only a feeling of satisfaction. Like for someone who hates giving money to give it anyway, and still feel bad about it. Now that would be an unselfish person, since he really has nothing to gain.

I believe that’s where the saying "there ain't no such thing as a free lunch" comes in. No matter how innocuous or straightforward something may appear, there are always some strings attached to it. That’s why I’ve made a habit of looking in the rearview mirror; I’m cynical as hell. Or, perhaps, I may be a bit selfish myself.

a Miss fit

I hate beauty pageants. Or, since 'hate' is such a strong word, let me say that I find the concept distasteful. I recently read in a local newspaper that a Pakistani woman will be taking part in one of the many international beauty pageants being hosted these days. What bothered me more was that the article was written by a woman, and according to her this shows that Pakistani women are now heading in the right direction. In another article, an unnamed author describes the participants of the Miss Pakistan pageant (to be held later this month in Toronto) to be strong, confident and enthusiastic women taking Pakistan forward to the 21st century. What a load of bull. Beauty pageants are demeaning to women and for them to approve of this only makes it even more disturbing. Pakistani women would be more strong and confident if they were not taking part in these ‘competitions’.

Yes… these people would like to salute our country’s new policy of ‘enlightened moderation’. From what I see, there isn’t much enlightenment involved, neither is there any moderation. There are only a bunch of women competing with each other over how they look while wearing minimal clothing. Yes, that sure would seem to be necessary for success in the 21st century.

There are so many of these pageants these days that it makes the whole thing even more absurd. First there’s a Miss Universe thing and then there’s also a Miss World pageant. Since there are only human participants, I don’t quite understand how the winner of a Miss World contest wouldn’t automatically become Miss Universe, or vice versa. And to make it more confusing, there’s also a Miss Earth contest. Great. I won't be too surprised if they come up with another one called 'Miss Galaxy', however corny that may sound.

Is it a bird?

Reincarnation may sound cool to some people, but perhaps it wouldn’t be too appealing to someone who turns into a rock for a lifetime. Considering rocks last a lot longer than humans or for that matter any living thing, I imagine it to be really boring. It’ll be a lot more fun if we were all able to choose what to become in another life. Given the option, I’d choose to be a bird. Make that a hummingbird. Then I’ll be able to do that cool helicopter thing they do. Or maybe I’d like to be a bald eagle, soaring away through the earth’s atmosphere while zooming in on anything of interest using my ultra powerful eyesight.

But it’s really the flying part that gives me the kick. Having flown in a few of my dreams, I can make a weak claim of knowing how it feels. That’s why I envy Superman. That and Lana Lang, of course. But even after that, I’d still like to be Batman more than Supes. Why, you ask. Well firstly, the blue and red color combo is way too outer space for me (or for that matter, a bit too American). But to be honest, it’s not about Superman being uncool (because he isn’t); it’s more about Batman being way cooler than anyone else.

Well, the thing about Batman is that he’s as human as you and me, which gives a regular person the belief that he too can be a superhero one day. The point being, you don’t need to have superpowers to be a superhero. All you need to have is muscles, martial arts skills, lots of money and, yeah, a cool ride. In fact the ride itself should be enough. I wouldn’t mind having a sidekick female superhero to assist me in my acts of kindness. That would ensure that I don’t mentally screw myself up fighting psychotic villains day in and day out. Plus, it’ll be great to have someone to talk to. From what I gather, most superheroes have problems when it comes to their social lives. A female sidekick will surely solve most of this.

So to make sense of this post I’ll clarify my position. I’d want to fly in another lifetime but I’d like to be Batman in this one.

What's with the routine?

I noticed that all my posts have been in alternate months and alternate years, save for one freak post in September 2005 which was after a gap of 2 months. I have listed down the following possible reasons for this behavior:

1. Based on statistical inference, my writing cycles are in accordance with the Gaussian distribution thereby causing an iterative sequence of blog posting.

2. My blog writing corresponds to variances in my actual life, which usually follow a stop-go pattern.

3. The presence of an invisible hand ensuring that I am compelled to sit and write during these specific time periods.

4. It’s a freaky coincidence. Well it’s not even freaky.

I think I’ll go with option no.1, since it makes the most sense. But what ever reasons are behind it, rest is assured that the cycle will break this June. Well, at least I hope so.

So Mr. Farooki... please tell us a bit about yourself...

I’ve always found job interviews to be an interesting experience. It’s a place for mind games, diplomacy, and an extensive show of personality and knowledge. It’s basically the hour or two where you try not to be yourself.

People say that the key to a good interview is being confident. Not that I disagree but I think it’s more important in trying not to make a fool out of yourself when you finish. Mainly because the people taking the interview are trying their level best to make you look like an idiot. And a fool with poise looks even more silly.

I also get the feeling that HR people think too highly of themselves, especially when taking interviews. They try really hard to give the impression that they’ve done multiple degrees in varying subjects such as psychology, math or history. Of course, they probably have a single degree and took the job because they had little or no talent for anything else. But at that particular time they’re the ones who are in control, and they would waste no opportunity in reminding you so.

There are a number of interview questions that are just plain stupid. If I would have a list, my least favorite one would be where I tell them how I see myself after a certain period of time. Some people say that their main focus is on the way you answer the questions, not the answers themselves. That would more or less explain the presence of these irritable and meaningless questions.

I’d like to see interviewers add a bit of humor to the whole process. Not only would it make the interview more interesting but it will also give an opportunity to see if the interviewee has a sense of humor. You wouldn’t want to hire a person with no sense of humor; that would make the workplace even more boring. You can also tell a lot more about the person by sharing a few jokes or playing some pranks. For example, if you tell a racially distasteful joke and the person laughs uncontrollably, there is a high probability that he/she has racist opinions. Or if you plant a mild stink bomb during an interview and the interviewee (knowing that he wasn’t the one who let off) doesn’t flinch for a second will show that he/she would be more tolerable to different types of people.

Now I’m talking like one of those HR people. Damn.

The first fix is for free… all the others come complimentary

I’ve never understood why people find it hard to shake off an addiction. All you have to do is stop doing whatever you’re hooked on to. I know this may be oversimplifying the situation, but in effect that is what you’re supposed to do. However, what if a situation arises when not doing anything becomes the problem? Then you’ll definitely have to do something to shake off the addiction. This appears to be a lot tougher than anything else I can think of. From what I see, laziness is the grandmother of all addictions, far more serious than cigarettes, drugs or any other obsessive craving.

I’d like to see the government treat laziness with the amount of seriousness it deserves. There should be rehabilitation programs dedicated to the cause. It’ll be nice to check out a laziness rehab center. Instead of TV lounges and therapy you’d have sport facilities and career counseling. I’d voluntarily signup anytime. Not that it sounds fun, but because I probably need it more than anyone else.

I’d also like to see Lazy-asses Anonymous meetings held. Maybe if I attend a few I’d realize how stupid I’ve been after listening to some sorry little dweeb telling everyone how he’s been wasting all his years clicking the remote and surfing the web. That would knock some sense into me.

The problem with this, though, is that you’re always a recovering addict. No matter how much you’ve changed, one day of relaxation can cause the suppressed system to trigger back on and then its hello couch and goodbye life again. The only way I see it is no relaxation and you should be fine.

Ok, so now I’ve made a decision. Writing this post has given me a small kick up my behind. I think I’ve had enough of this pampered life of no work and all play, its time for some action… beginning tomorrow, of course.

Let there not be light!

I know people in Karachi are fed up of load shedding. They stopped having it in Islamabad quite a few years back, but even when it did happen it usually was in the winters, as far as I can remember. Even if this does sound a bit odd, I remember rather enjoying it when it did happen especially when it was during the night. No electricity meant no television, no computer, no nothing. But it also meant that I wasn’t told to do my homework, or was required to do any chores… heck with the lights out the only thing that you could do was sit down by the blazing heater and munch away on some dry (or not so dry) fruit. Peace of mind is what you got; a great amount of tranquility and silence. The only sounds that may be heard would be of the sporadic movement of traffic nearby and that too was very insignificant. It would be just you and your thoughts.

For someone who likes to think a lot, I don’t have much to show for it. Or maybe I’m thinking about all the wrong things. Maybe what I’m writing (and hence thinking first) right now is of little consequence to future events in time. This may mean that if I were to be erased from the present, the future of the universe would have very little bearing from my absence. But how many of us are really making a difference to the future of this world? I may be a lazy bum sitting at home and not contributing to the GDP of the country but how is that different from someone who is? Yes that person is earning money, probably will get married in some time, have kids, get retired and then, in all likelihood, will kick the bucket. That’s the lifecycle for your average joe. If joe thinks he’s making a difference for future generations he’s mistaken. If it weren’t him, there would be some other joe (lets call him jack) in his place. As far as I see it, me, joe or for that matter jack are all just taking up space in an overcrowded world moving aimlessly on the temporal dimension of existence.

Coming back to load shedding, there were times when it did become frustrating especially when the time clashed with the airing of “Guest House”. But I must admit that was a very long time back (as people familiar with the mentioned program would have realized). My later days were however free from such mind corrupting and moronic hypnosis by state governed broadcasters (meaning I had moved on from PTV to more interesting foreign channels). I can’t even imagine how people in Karachi have to live with load shedding; television would probably be the last thing on their minds. Even during winter Karachi still is flaming hot. But the people do have the benefit of a nice sea breeze blowing away most times of the day. Plus most of corporate Pakistan is in Karachi, so air-conditioning and generators are very common. Not common enough for the common man though.

This has become a particularly digressing post and I don’t think I enjoyed writing it as much as I generally do. Maybe next time I’ll close the lights and think more before I decide to write something…

Tales from the bus ride...

Last weekend while I was on my way to Lahore, I remembered the many times I used to go back to lums after spending my quarter break at home. I especially remembered the times when I went alone on the bus. I used to occupy my seat rather early and waited to see who would end up sitting next to me, even though it hardly ever mattered since I almost never conversed. Sitting on my seat I would firmly place my eyes on the entrance, observing every person coming in, and evaluating if the person was worthy enough to be sitting next to his highness. More often than not I would be pleading “please, not him”, or start telling myself “maybe I should’ve gone with Ahmad”, or sometimes start wondering why there was always a statistically disproportionate and demographically unrepresentative greater majority of male travelers. Not once in my four years of traveling on the bus have I been accidentally given a seat next to a girl. Maybe that’s because females usually tell the guy giving the tickets that they need a seat next to another female. But given the discriminatory and unbalanced nature of the traveling population, I thought mathematics was in my favor of having at least once being mistakenly seated next to a female, even if it was for a few minutes before an arrangement was made within the bus to restore equilibrium. Not that it would’ve mattered, again. But it still intrigues me to a certain extent.

My trips from Islamabad meant that I usually got money from home while coming back from Lahore meant that I was more often than not running low on reserves. This meant that the midway stop on my way to Lahore would allow me a few snacks; ice cream and chips would be the usual. However, when going in the opposite direction, the stop would only yield a refreshing walk and some time away from the stale and, at times, suffocating air present within the bus. I stopped having the snacks they serve a long time back when I happened to get sick once. I don’t remember even watching the movie they played. Considering I had very little to do for 4 and a half hours, time would pass before I knew it. I guess the trip would give me an opportunity to gather my thoughts and make up plans for the future. As far as I know, those plans would be of very little use later. But then again, most plans are like that.

I remember once a girl I used to like was on the same bus that I was on. Well that certainly was a trip, and to top it, her seat was near mine. I therefore had to activate my anti-social mode to conceal my nervousness, meaning I covered my face with my cap and went to sleep only to find myself after some time covered with drool and sleeping with an open mouth. Embarrassed, I looked around and to my relief found no one even remotely paying attention. But somehow I knew that was going to be the case anyway. It’s funny when people think that the whole world is looking at them when basically no one could care less. I think I could’ve gone to class wearing my pajamas and no one would’ve noticed. Whenever I’ve had a hair cut people around me haven’t been able to tell what exactly is different. It just goes to prove that the only person that is looking at you that closely is you. Knowing this made my nervousness around someone I liked even more irrational. But I guess its one of those things that you know doesn’t make sense but still happens. Like finding stupid toilet jokes funny, or supporting a team to win even when it has very little chance, or getting pleasure out of writing blogs that no one reads. Now I remember how I used to spend my time on the bus….

Why not to buy an iPOD

I just got an iPOD recently and that too for my father. I heard so much about the iPOD and its ease of use that I thought it would be perfect for my dad, since he finds modern day gadgets to be rather tricky to operate. As you may have guessed, the iPOD didn’t turn out to be the ideal mp3 player for various reasons that I shall elaborate shortly. Anyway, some of these negative elements may seem trivial to some people, but they still are good enough to be listed.

1. They don’t even ship in a CD with the box. Considering that you need iTunes to put songs in the thing, you’ll need the internet to download 30 something megabytes worth of iTunes to get started.


2. There isn’t even an AC power adapter included. Which means that you need to charge your iPod with your computer (via the usb connecter). And if you, by chance, are traveling and do not have access to a computer, then either dish out some money for a charger, or get yourself a laptop (which would make the iPod redundant anyway!)
   
3. You need iTunes to add and manage your songs. This means that you cannot just add songs from any other pc
   
4. If there’s a song that does not have an album or the id3 tag is not filled, the song will not show in an “unknown album” or under “unknown artist” (like it does in my sony ericsson walkman phone), instead you will have to go through all the songs to find the particular one you’re looking for
   
5. Creating playlists are very tedious without using a computer
   
6. The iPOD uses an internal battery which will have to be replaced by Apple itself in the event that its life has come to an end. This will cost you at least $55. Other cheaper alternatives are available, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it requires more effort on part of the user

There are many, many more but I’m too sick and tired to bother listing them all down. In conclusion, Apple is overcharging people for something that isn’t worth the money at all.

To buy or to sell?

I see a number of people trying to look sophisticated when going through the stock market index on television or the newspaper. I have my own index that I follow… it’s the spam count on my gmail account. Yes, that would seem like a foolish thing to do… but it’s more darn interesting than all three of Pakistan’s stock markets combined. The foremost difference between the two would be that I want the number of spam on my account to be as low as possible, whereas generally the majority of people would want the stock market index to be high.

Most of you would be happy to know that my spam crossed the 1000 barrier just recently. I, though, was a bit disappointed. It hovered around the mark for a few days before coming back to around 800-900, making me believe that the downward trend would continue for sometime. However, it was not long before it ballooned to the region of 1200 and has been around that mark since. Incidentally, that’s about the same number (multiplied by 10) for the KSE index these days. I see a parallel association between the two already. This could only mean one thing… my spam controls the heart of Pakistan’s economy… which, as a significant part of the integrated global economy, can disrupt the lives of millions of people thereby causing irrevocable disturbance to the space time continuum and a possible end to the universe!!! I think I’ll delete my spam some other time…

Going to office...

It’s been well over a year since I last wrote something for my blog. Now that I am once again unemployed and have very little to do, I can write some of my incoherent and pointless commentaries on life.

I remember that when I was little I wanted to become a scientist. There were a few of my mother’s old college books on our bookshelf and I happened to come across one called “Principles of Political Science” by R. N. Gilchrist. Wanting to become a scientist and having the enthusiasm to start early, I picked up the book and started reading, not knowing that political science wasn’t really the science I was looking for. Well, it didn’t really do much harm as I don’t remember going beyond the first page and even what I read probably didn’t register one bit. (For those of you who think that I was being really stupid, may I point out that I was very young… who am I kidding, my blog doesn’t have an audience… hahaa…)

Then came the time when I wanted to become a doctor. The reason that I remember was that I thought doctors were usually very rich and also that I could help some people. Then I took some biology classes and by the time my O’levels had ended, it was over. I think I would need to be at least twice as smart as I am right now to become a good doctor. My father always wanted me to become one, and I really didn’t want to disappoint him but I guess it wasn’t to be. If I could do it all over again, I would like to make a good attempt at it again. I have a lot of respect for doctors; they go through a lot during medical school and then after, during housejobs and what not, before they can actually call themselves doctors. And even when they have the doctor badge on their coats it’s not all that rosy for them, there is a lot of hard work and nightshifts involved. But in the end, I think they’ll get what they truly deserve. God bless them all.

Anyway, after the doctor phase had passed came the time when I wanted to do something in computer sciences. The inspiration came mostly from my elder brother and also from two of my cousins. I used to have an image of the computer guy as the cool dude with the pony tail hacking his way through the pentagon computers, or making cool computer games in a makeshift office while making it big at the same time. But as university passed, it became quite clear to me that I wouldn’t want to do this for the rest of my life.

So what is it that I want to do? That is the million dollar question. Sometimes I think that this isn’t really the way it happens in life. You try to get what you can and then hope it’s the thing you want to do. Sometimes I think that I take so many things for granted. I just hope that I don’t eventually do something that I regret later in life, having so many regrets already.

Ok so there is one thing… but I don’t think people take it too seriously. No, I don’t want to become a sensory deprivation research subject… I was thinking more on the lines of a sports writer / journalist (For those of you who don’t know, I have another blog called “theslogblog”… again I’m assuming that I have an audience). Now that is something I wouldn’t mind doing day in and day out. Imagine, to get paid just to watch cricket all day and then writing about it. That is my dream job.

I guess that’s why they call it a “dream” job. But then again, some dreams do come true…