Any questions?

I've always had sympathy for people who have something uncommon or prominent about them, which only allows other people to bug them with the same thoughtless questions or comments over and over again. Like, I'm sure Ryan Stiles is sick of people telling him how big his feet are or how Pope Benedict must be fed up of being told over and over again that he looks exactly like Senator Palpatine aka Darth Sidious (or the evil Emperor from Star Wars for all you non-scifi people). I guess everybody has a few questions that they're tired of answering. And like everyone, I also have a list of the ones that I hate the most, which I have taken the liberty to mention in order of most hated to the least.

1. Why are you so thin?
People never get tired of asking me this. I could give them a hundred different reasons but they already have a perfect explanation fixed in their heads. Which beckons the question: why bother asking me something that they already know the answer of (i.e. according to them)?

2. What do you want to do in life?
Another one of my least favorites, probably because I admittedly don't have a clue on what I would want to do in the next year or so, let alone have a game plan for life in general. So whenever I'm put forth this question I respond with a very precise picture of my plans in the most succinct narrative possible. To be more exact, I answer by saying "I don't know".

3. What are you good at?
This question has many forms, including "What are your strengths?", "Do you have any special skills?" and "Is there anything at all that you can do right?". Typical answers include "Is using hair gel in 5 different ways a skill?", "I know the value of PI up to 31 decimal places (which I seriously do)" and "I can scan all 50 channels of cable in less than 10 seconds".

4. What have been your achievements so far?
This can be a tricky question as it could either be intended for academic, extracurricular or professional achievements. Lucky for me I have none in either category which allows me to use the same answer in all situations.

Writing these down makes me feel that I'm better off than the Pope. At least I don't get asked if I can discharge electricity from my arse or if I have a light saber hidden underneath my robe or if I'm the most evil being present in the universe... Now I can go back to memorizing the value of PI to the next 20 decimal places in peace. May the force be with you!