Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Is it a bird?

Reincarnation may sound cool to some people, but perhaps it wouldn’t be too appealing to someone who turns into a rock for a lifetime. Considering rocks last a lot longer than humans or for that matter any living thing, I imagine it to be really boring. It’ll be a lot more fun if we were all able to choose what to become in another life. Given the option, I’d choose to be a bird. Make that a hummingbird. Then I’ll be able to do that cool helicopter thing they do. Or maybe I’d like to be a bald eagle, soaring away through the earth’s atmosphere while zooming in on anything of interest using my ultra powerful eyesight.

But it’s really the flying part that gives me the kick. Having flown in a few of my dreams, I can make a weak claim of knowing how it feels. That’s why I envy Superman. That and Lana Lang, of course. But even after that, I’d still like to be Batman more than Supes. Why, you ask. Well firstly, the blue and red color combo is way too outer space for me (or for that matter, a bit too American). But to be honest, it’s not about Superman being uncool (because he isn’t); it’s more about Batman being way cooler than anyone else.

Well, the thing about Batman is that he’s as human as you and me, which gives a regular person the belief that he too can be a superhero one day. The point being, you don’t need to have superpowers to be a superhero. All you need to have is muscles, martial arts skills, lots of money and, yeah, a cool ride. In fact the ride itself should be enough. I wouldn’t mind having a sidekick female superhero to assist me in my acts of kindness. That would ensure that I don’t mentally screw myself up fighting psychotic villains day in and day out. Plus, it’ll be great to have someone to talk to. From what I gather, most superheroes have problems when it comes to their social lives. A female sidekick will surely solve most of this.

So to make sense of this post I’ll clarify my position. I’d want to fly in another lifetime but I’d like to be Batman in this one.

Monday, May 28, 2007

What's with the routine?

I noticed that all my posts have been in alternate months and alternate years, save for one freak post in September 2005 which was after a gap of 2 months. I have listed down the following possible reasons for this behavior:

1. Based on statistical inference, my writing cycles are in accordance with the Gaussian distribution thereby causing an iterative sequence of blog posting.

2. My blog writing corresponds to variances in my actual life, which usually follow a stop-go pattern.

3. The presence of an invisible hand ensuring that I am compelled to sit and write during these specific time periods.

4. It’s a freaky coincidence. Well it’s not even freaky.

I think I’ll go with option no.1, since it makes the most sense. But what ever reasons are behind it, rest is assured that the cycle will break this June. Well, at least I hope so.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

So Mr. Farooki... please tell us a bit about yourself...

I’ve always found job interviews to be an interesting experience. It’s a place for mind games, diplomacy, and an extensive show of personality and knowledge. It’s basically the hour or two where you try not to be yourself.

People say that the key to a good interview is being confident. Not that I disagree but I think it’s more important in trying not to make a fool out of yourself when you finish. Mainly because the people taking the interview are trying their level best to make you look like an idiot. And a fool with poise looks even more silly.

I also get the feeling that HR people think too highly of themselves, especially when taking interviews. They try really hard to give the impression that they’ve done multiple degrees in varying subjects such as psychology, math or history. Of course, they probably have a single degree and took the job because they had little or no talent for anything else. But at that particular time they’re the ones who are in control, and they would waste no opportunity in reminding you so.

There are a number of interview questions that are just plain stupid. If I would have a list, my least favorite one would be where I tell them how I see myself after a certain period of time. Some people say that their main focus is on the way you answer the questions, not the answers themselves. That would more or less explain the presence of these irritable and meaningless questions.

I’d like to see interviewers add a bit of humor to the whole process. Not only would it make the interview more interesting but it will also give an opportunity to see if the interviewee has a sense of humor. You wouldn’t want to hire a person with no sense of humor; that would make the workplace even more boring. You can also tell a lot more about the person by sharing a few jokes or playing some pranks. For example, if you tell a racially distasteful joke and the person laughs uncontrollably, there is a high probability that he/she has racist opinions. Or if you plant a mild stink bomb during an interview and the interviewee (knowing that he wasn’t the one who let off) doesn’t flinch for a second will show that he/she would be more tolerable to different types of people.

Now I’m talking like one of those HR people. Damn.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The first fix is for free… all the others come complimentary

I’ve never understood why people find it hard to shake off an addiction. All you have to do is stop doing whatever you’re hooked on to. I know this may be oversimplifying the situation, but in effect that is what you’re supposed to do. However, what if a situation arises when not doing anything becomes the problem? Then you’ll definitely have to do something to shake off the addiction. This appears to be a lot tougher than anything else I can think of. From what I see, laziness is the grandmother of all addictions, far more serious than cigarettes, drugs or any other obsessive craving.

I’d like to see the government treat laziness with the amount of seriousness it deserves. There should be rehabilitation programs dedicated to the cause. It’ll be nice to check out a laziness rehab center. Instead of TV lounges and therapy you’d have sport facilities and career counseling. I’d voluntarily signup anytime. Not that it sounds fun, but because I probably need it more than anyone else.

I’d also like to see Lazy-asses Anonymous meetings held. Maybe if I attend a few I’d realize how stupid I’ve been after listening to some sorry little dweeb telling everyone how he’s been wasting all his years clicking the remote and surfing the web. That would knock some sense into me.

The problem with this, though, is that you’re always a recovering addict. No matter how much you’ve changed, one day of relaxation can cause the suppressed system to trigger back on and then its hello couch and goodbye life again. The only way I see it is no relaxation and you should be fine.

Ok, so now I’ve made a decision. Writing this post has given me a small kick up my behind. I think I’ve had enough of this pampered life of no work and all play, its time for some action… beginning tomorrow, of course.