Tuesday, September 20, 2005


blank, n. 1. an empty or featureless space. 2. a vacant or uneventful period.

I am, so it seems, suspended in a vacuum of nothingness living to the dark times of oblivion. But then again, everything is ‘blank’ before it becomes something. The ‘Mona Lisa’ was once a piece of blank canvas. The pyramids were nothing more than vast lands of ‘blank’ and uninteresting desert. And the most brilliant ideas usually come from a blank stare at the wall. Many philosophers including Locke and Aristotle believed the newborn human mind to be a ‘tabula rasa’ or a clean slate, with sense perception and everyday experiences filling it as years go by.

With so much time already gone, the blank space still appears to be as blank as ever. This void needs to be filled sooner rather than later before the canvas becomes stale and useless. There is hope, however, that one fine day nothing will remain of this nothingness but the sheer brilliance of van Gogh or the genius of da Vinci.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

turn on the heat, baby!

I thought the summer would be fun. I even made a list of things I planned on doing (see 'The Graduate'). As you would have guessed, I have yet to complete, or should I say, even start anything. As always, I have something to blame it on... it's too damn friggin' hot!

All this heat and not going outdoors and practically doing nothing leaves me with the telly again. Sigh. Everytime I come back home, I promise myself to minimize my television viewing but I eventually end up doing nothing but stare at the idiot box. But I must admit, I am enjoying it to a certain degree. There are a number of shows that I can't wait to watch everyday, namely 'the Drew Carey show' and 'who's line is it anyway'. And then there's all that sport going on. Let me see... Wimbledon, cricket in England, Formula 1, the confederations cup... its too much to ask for!

With the Ashes coming up I think its going to be one hell of a series. England, after a really long time can give some fight to the Aussies, but I still think that Australia hold the upper hand. It more or less comes down to how England play McGrath and Warne. One thing England desperately lacks is a quality spinner in their ranks, Ashley Giles is no where near quality. Isn't Ashley a girl's name? Anyway, I can't wait for the Ashes to start... atleast I'll have something substantial to watch on tv, instead of flippin' channels all day.

Yes, yes... surfing channels is the best way to pass on the summer and to beat the heat.

One thing I am ashamed of is that I have started liking orkut. Every night I log on to it, quietly hoping that some one has scrapped me a two-line message asking me how my job hunt is going. I am certainly not an addict as yet, infact, I don't quite understand what is there to get addicted to. Its all quite boring after a few minutes of clicking and viewing. However, orkut has definitely become the latest addition to my daily online routine.

Friday, June 10, 2005

The Graduate

Well, I've filled out my Graduate Audit Form (GAF) or the 'FAG' as Butti likes to call it. 180 units; no more, no less. I am officially a graduate now. What does it feel like? The same, more or less, except for the fact that I don't have to take any classes or check if I've successfully registered in all of my courses. Its a feeling of achievement and sorrow mixed together. Four of the most enjoyable years of my life have now come to an end.

Lets not get all too dramatic here. It's just another phase of life passing by. Its like when your dad sold off the old family car, the one you really loved, to get a better model. Its an upgrade. But you can't help but feel a bit gloomy. Im sure it'll pass by, just like everything else has so far.

Well, enough crying. I have somewhat of a plan for when I get back to Islamabad. There are a few things that I have in mind that I shall be doing when I get there (which should be Monday). Lets have a look at them.

1. Find a job. Aaaaaaaarrrgh. Something I have to do, regardless of anything. Preferably in a multi-national company paying me 40,000, with all the other benefits of a car, utility bills and a cell phone. Seriously, I could do with just the car :]

2. Turn my foxy into a sex-machine. I can't help it, I have a thing for beetles. OK, I'll admit that I have very little knowledge of how cars work, but this summer baby, it'll be just me and my foxy.

3. Axe myself to death. No, I don't mean it literally. I meant playing my beautiful shiny black guitar all summer. This time, I seriously am going to go crazy.

4. 24 24/7. Yeah, Im loaded with all 4 seasons of 24. Ill be watching that day and night, and when I'll run out of 24, then there is always the 4 seasons of scrubs that are also waiting to be watched.

5. GRE Prep. I know I have this in my list, and it probably has the least preference amongst all the other things that I have planned out but after thinking about it realistically, I have solemnly admitted that I may not have relinquished the status of a student for the last time. I will probably have to do my Masters in the near future, and I need to prepare for it.

Planning, Planning. I do it every year, every month, in fact every week. How much does go according to plan is a separate story. To be honest, I know that I'll be doing jack in the next few months. But let's see, this time I might end up with a 40k job!

Monday, April 11, 2005

hello Mr.Hyde!

Everything has a dark side. Even the moon does. So it shouldn't be strange for you to find out that I have one too.

Somedays I wake up with the sounds of birds chirping and a nice cold breeze flowing in through the room. That usually sets up the mood for the day. Nothing can stop me from having a great day.

But sometimes when I wake up, the same birds seem to be a big pain in the ass. Nothing seems nice. Everything is painted black. I hate everyone. I'd rather sit alone in my room and curse every fucking person I know. Every little thing that has happened to me over the previous days keeps on resonating in my mind. Everything said to me, all the fun that had been made of me, everytime someone had failed to give me the respect I deserved, all these thoughts keep on flaring up.

You may not notice it, but Mr.Hyde's there right inside me, getting madder by the minute, trying to break free from the mask that he's wearing. Somedays I fear he really will come out for every person to see in all his true colors.

But most days I just go to sleep hoping that the next morning I would be woken up by some birds chirping in their playful vigor and showing me that Mr.Hyde has taken the day off. But for how long?

"There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark."

Friday, April 08, 2005

My Time Machine

Its amazing how listening to an old song can transport you back to a certain time or place which has some significance associated with the song. Complete memories storm back into mind.

We three brothers always had an issue when it came on deciding which cassette was to be played on the car stereo. Many fights have been fought over time.Then there was the time when the family went to a picnic. I can't really remember where the place was, just that it was very nice. And then came the ride back home, there was bound to be a fight on the selection of audio. I had recently bought Dire Straits' Money for nothing, and naturally, I voted for it to be played. Surprisingly, there was very little opposition, and we went all the way back home listening to the same album.

It was probably the first time I had listened to 'Telegraph Road', and now whenever I listen to the song again Im transported back in time to the same place. It was one of those rare times when a family outing ended without much incident and at the end of it all, we were back home happy and content. Its probably why 'Telegraph Road' always brings about a certain degree of joyfulness whenever I play it.

I think its time for me to take another trip back in time...

And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold
You can hear them singing out their telegraph code
All the way down the telegraph road

Thursday, February 24, 2005

On fast forward...

You think the quarter has just started, and you have the final exam schedule sitting right there in your inbox. Its the same story every quarter, you think of making amends, getting your GPA right, or atleast doing something constructive, but after 3 months you are exactly in the same position as you were before, if not worse off.

Yes, the exams are here and there's pretty much nothing to do, again! The exam week is going to be over as quickly as it came, so will the quarter break, and I'm suspecting nothing will be different next quarter.

I hate it when time flies.

Life is a train
Makes the future the past
Leaves you standing on the station
Your face pressed up against the glass